I set reminders for everything. To wake up on time, to sign up for spin class, to remember to pack all the parts to my breast pump for work each day… But I think I’m missing an important one. The one that pops up sporadically that says, “You’re not failing as a wife or mother.”
This morning during our commute, my husband was lamenting the lack of homemade baked goods in his life. I quickly quipped, “You chose for me to provide for the family financially. You can’t have it both ways.” (For the record, I make oatmeal cookies every Friday and my mother rarely goes a week without baking some kind of muffin or bread. I do purchase an angel food cake at Whole Foods each week for a quick and yummy dessert, but there have been no issues slicing into that…)
Man, the glimmer of Mother’s Day fades fast. The guilt kicked in.
As I wiped the tears that started streaming down my face, I envisioned life with my perfectly styled hair and effortlessly coordinated outfit, trips to the library for story time, an always adorably dressed baby, jogging in the sunshine, grocery shopping for the freshest ingredients for dinner during the day and a kitchen full of food that I prepared myself. I have always loved being in the kitchen and felt proud of my well-kept home.
Now that I’m a mother and I spend 11 hours a day out of the home for work, how do I find time for that? Would that hour that allow myself to go to the gym these days make a difference? Should I be using that time to bake instead?
I’m not sure balance is the right word when it comes to life. It’s often more like sacrifice. You have to decide where you’re willing to let things go, personally and professionally. Some things are more important than others, but sometimes you have to make tough decisions. It’s not always easy and it doesn’t always go the way you want it to.
It’s hard to step back and give ourselves credit for doing so much when we feel like we should still be doing so much more. So to all you moms and wives, here’s your reminder for today: You’re doing a good job.